Thursday, March 18, 2010

Spring Life Cleansing

Yup..........for those who have been following my blog, I have not been in the best of all moods. Stress is getting to me. It is effecting my mental state and I had a lot of time to think. I found out a lot of things about poeple. Friends who are not really friends, co-workers who are just little insects, life......is just life. Found out a few things about myself as well. The things I see are not an illusion, I need to stop living in a fantasy. Stop living like a coward and spineless. I have a voice that is never heard except by a select few. One, who is always been there and helped me out when I first joined Obscura. And another, who hepled me out with a lot of shit. Finally, a true friend who is honest and is willing to listen. It took a few shitty ass poeple to show me the good side of life. Now it is time for me to breathe.
I am TIRED of the lies, I am TIRED of all the he said she said crap. I am TIRED of the insults. I am TIRED of talking to a bunch of bricks. Most of all, I am tired of waiting and working on things that will never see the light of day. I have my own works I want to do. I have projects too that i could be putting my heart and soul into. I AM TIRED OF BEING PORTRAYED AS A BAD GUY. Minnions, bitches, assholes, complainers, negative downers, I am tired of it all!!!!!!!!!!! It is getting to me and effecting my art!!!!!!!!
Even if I named off people they won't listen. They are too busy talking out of thier asses. I want to start fresh. I want to feel calm again. I met a few good people, as well as people who refuse to grow up. I don't care who this effects. You know who you are. Why in the fuck should I clarify huh???????? WHY?!?!?! It won't do any good of you listen with your mouth instead of your ears. Why should I be afraid to say this? Why? I said worse things. When it went bad with Joe and Jay.....I said the same thing....no one got it...it stil hasn't.
The people here, I met online and those who have not been with the group for a while....you don't have to worry about this. You are not to blame. The downfall of the group was going to happen anyways why fight it??? We can be friends who hang out that's fine. BUT don't call it an art group..IT IS NOT AN ART GROUP!!!!!!!!! Some of us deserves to call ourselves the art group, the rest NO!!!!! Not until you actually do work. I believe I had this discussion before. This is the last time.
Call me a bitch, call me a traitor, call me whatever the fuck you like. I AM DONE.